Before Wedding Night Jitters: How to Calm Your Nerves

Alright, so, the day before you get hitched, huh? Big doings! It’s a whole lotta fuss, let me tell ya. Folks call it the “before wedding night,” sounds fancy, but it’s just plain ol’ nerves and excitement all mixed up like a bad batch of biscuits.

First off, they got this thing called a “rehearsal dinner.” Sounds important, right? Well, it’s just a big feed the night before the actual wedding. Everyone gets together, eats some grub, and pretends they know what they’re doin’ walking down that aisle. Sometimes they do it two nights before, so folks ain’t too tired for the real deal. Honestly, I think it’s just an excuse to eat more food. People like eatin’, that’s for sure.

Now, some young’uns, they wanna spend this night with their sweetheart. Say it’s the “calm before the storm.” Hmph, calm? More like butterflies in your belly big enough to make ya puke! But I guess it’s nice to have a bit of quiet time before all the craziness starts. You know, hold hands, whisper sweet nothin’s, that kind of mushy stuff. Young people, always so dramatic.

Then there’s the eatin’ part. They say you gotta eat a “healthy meal.” Shoot, I say eat whatever you want! It’s your last night of freedom, might as well enjoy it. But then again, you don’t wanna be runnin’ to the outhouse in the middle of sayin’ your vows, so maybe don’t go overboard on the beans.
And they say you gotta spend time with your partner. Well, duh! You’re gettin’ hitched, ain’t ya? But I guess they mean, like, *really* spend time. Talk about stuff, make sure you ain’t got no secrets hidin’ in the closet. Cause once you say “I do,” them secrets got a way of comin’ out, like weeds in a cornfield.

Some folks are all worked up, nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Others are just plain giddy, can’t stop smilin’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet potato. Me? I was just tired. All that fussin’ and plannin’, it wears a body out. I just wanted to go to bed and get it over with. But no, you gotta have this party, and that party, and then another party. Lord have mercy, it’s enough to make you wanna elope!

They got these checklists, you know, “Night Before Wedding Checklist.” Like you need a piece of paper to tell you to brush your teeth and put on your clothes. But I guess some folks need all the help they can get. The list tells ya to pack a bag, lay out your dress, make sure the rings ain’t lost. You know, common sense stuff. But then again, common sense ain’t so common these days.

And let me tell ya, tryin’ to sleep the night before your weddin’ is like tryin’ to herd chickens in a hurricane. Your mind’s racin’, your heart’s thumpin’, and you keep thinkin’ about all the things that could go wrong. What if the preacher forgets your name? What if you trip on your dress? What if your husband-to-be decides he don’t wanna marry you after all? It’s enough to drive a body crazy. I remember layin’ there, starin’ at the ceilin’, listenin’ to the crickets chirp and thinkin’, “What in the Sam Hill have I gotten myself into?”

So, my advice to you young’uns is this: Take a deep breath, eat some good food, spend some time with your loved ones, and try to get some sleep. And for goodness sake, don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s just a weddin’, not the end of the world. Though, I guess for some folks, it kinda is. Anyways, just remember, at the end of the day, all that matters is that you’re marryin’ the person you love. And if that ain’t worth a little fuss and bother, then I don’t know what is.

And one more thing, don’t forget to pee before you walk down that aisle. Nothin’ worse than havin’ to hold it in while you’re sayin’ your vows. Trust me on that one. I’ve seen it happen, and it ain’t pretty.

So, there you have it. The “before wedding night” in a nutshell. It’s a mix of excitement, nerves, and a whole lotta chaos. But it’s also a special time, a time to reflect on the past and look forward to the future. Just try to enjoy it, cause it only happens once…hopefully.